Category Archives: Uncategorized

Did this a while ago, but I figure if I’m going to relaunch the ol’ blog I should post something.

ITEM: I’m not part of the circle. I know, at best, only 4 of you. I’m probably not going to meet all these other people. I don’t care either way.

It makes me intensely uncomfortable when I can spend an entire evening and only understand a fraction of the conversation.

I’m getting out of here. I’m not a live journal guy. I don’t think I should keep up with this. I’m consistently bewildered with names appearing as links instead of identities, comparisons to people I’ve never met, and recaps of events I’m never invited to.

I’m going back to work. You’re not going to see me for a while. I appreciate the effort put forth, I really do. But the first fun thing that happened all night was shot down within 30 seconds. Thats depressing. I can stay home and watch movies.

Beginning 24 hour countdown now.

“The Grudge”
Saw the japanese one 2 years ago. Could barely follow the story, wasn’t scary.
On a reccomendation we rented the US remake, which still took place in Japan and looks like used the same sets. It was better mostly because I successfully followed the story and could tell characters apart from each other, which may sound racist, but I didn’t understand “Jo-Un” mostly because I thought every single female in the entire movie was the same character.

“Super Mario Brothers”
Its still terrible. But, I think theres more than 90 seconds of cool footage I can take to make a fake trailer.

http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/index.php
hot shit, this comic is FUNNY.

CHICKEN BUTT.

I got you, you fucker.

just when things can’t get any shittier…

fucking MAD GEAR KIDNAPPED MY DAUGHTER.

Now I gotta call Cody and see if we can get her back. I hope we don’t have to beat up the same 4 guys 70 times in a row.

My cat is not a meerkat. She is a mere cat.

her breath is toxic. ugh.

Nothing will ever go here.

everything will always go here: http://www.powet.tv/

I hadn’t been in a comic shop in a while, I recently went back to grab the IDW Transformers. Getting back in the habit, I also got the first couple issues of All Star Superman.

I kinda want to read DC comics again. I was neve that big on Marvel, but I could always find a couple DC books I liked.

Then I noticed EVERY SINGLE BOOK had some kind of Infinite Crisis tie in. And with so much volume I decided I’m pretty much out of the DC universe until the dust settles and I can read the important bits in a TPB, which leaves me pretty much not reading any regular DC book until spring 2007.

I know this seemed like a big good idea and had I been on from the beginning or had a bigger comic budget, I might’ve been on for the ride. But being a casual reader and not wanting to buy 8 books a week for the next year just to sort out what the fuck is going on is really off putting.

In the end will this REALLY change Batman or Superman or any of their big heroes? I mean, it can’t. Not if DC hs any sense. Theres a new Superman movie coming, and theres always Batman stuff everywhere… shouldn’t they have more mainstream stuff to get new readers and casual readers hooked in? Shouldn’t they at least make it easier for casual readers to jump into Crisis or any other major arc? Or did they just fucking give up and put out the All Star books so they could have an out of continuity comic for casual readers while the Infinite Wank-a-thon rolls into actual infinity…
[link]

I’ll start this off by saying ultimately I had a good time and it was nice to be in such warm weather during the cold winter. And I wouldn’t say everything in this video is a lie, but they certainly stretch the truth.

I woke up around 5:30 AM in on the floor of my stepsister’s chicago apartment to make a 8 AM flight to Montego Bay. My phone rang, and it was my brother telling me he wasn’t getting on the plane in Baltimore because he couldn’t find his passport. I was disappointed to say the least.

Getting on the plane wasn’t difficult, but the 4 hour flight with only a can of Canada Dry and a cookie to eat was. We skipped breakfast, and now we didn’t have a lunch either!

Arriving in Montego Bay holding my winter coat was surreal in itself, but the parade of tourists created quite a crowd at customs and immigration. After trying to declare prescription medication and then sent back to the end of the line when I was told I didn’t need to, we were reaching our breaking point.

Finally we got out of the airport, and got on a bus. And waiting 55 minutes for the bus to leave. Then 90 minutes for the drive to the hotel! I’m starving. We made a pit stop where I paid $2 US for a bottle of coke, and was warned by my stepsister’s boyfriend not to eat at any of the jerk chicken shacks on the side of the road. The bathrooms were in hospitable and my fiance was asked to “party” twice before we got back on the road again. Even a quick look out the window during this trip revealed Jamaica to be a pretty poor nation. Lots of shacks, farm animals running free… it kinda held this air of guilt over the whole week as we knew we were living much much better than these people who live for weeks on less than I make in a day.

When we finally got to the hotel I was happy to see the rest of the family waiting for us. It was a releif to know my brother’s girlfriend still got on the plane and was there, and my brother would be catching a flight the next day.

My father had booked 5 rooms for our group of 9, and the resort only had 3 open, so we had to kinda cram together the first night, but it was fine after that. after all, we’re here! Its warm! Its sunny! No work for a week!

Dinner wasn’t being served until 7, and even though we were very hungry, we went to the open bar to drink.

From here my account of this trip will be less detailed because we pretty much started drinking fruity drinks with rum around 5 PM on sunday night and didn’t sober up until saturday morning. The open bar was a rousing success.

There was a nice pool, but there was no beach. they had some sand with some water in front of it, but it was all rocks and coral and only 3 feet deep unless you went really far out.

Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner were all regularly served and I don’t think I’ve ever eaten that much pinapple in my life. Food was pretty tasty.

About Tuesday it started to sink in that there wasn’t much at all to do there.
Club Ambiance had daily activities and nightly concerts by a house band. Activities were mostly lame, and we used the schedule mostly as a guide of when not to be at the pool for water aerobics. They had a “fashion show” which consisted of staff wearing stuff from the gift shop. I didn’t need to come all this way to see that “Bob Marley shirt, army shorts, and no shoes” is in style. I see people wearing that stuff here! By the end of the week we figured they’d be running office chair races and “car rides”

Animals abound! Feral cats roamed the premises, and it wasn’t uncommon to see 4 or 5 cats running around the roof. Also saw a lot of little lizards running around and quite a few birds. On the roads, goats and chickens were pretty much everywhere. I found a tiny hermit crab on the sidewalk that I returned to the “beach.” A flyer for a nearby plantation also advertised “Get Your Picture Taken With The Ostrich” which was also beyond funny.

The house band didn’t play reggae or calypso or even try. It was mostly lite rock shit. Stevie Wonder, Righteous Brothers, Bryan Adams… They even covered UB40’s “Red Wine” which in itself is just a UK band doing a reggae version of a Neil Diamond song. The closed the set on the last night we were there with a cover of “Hey Jude” which we later replaced the lyrics with “Na, Na Na, No Problem! Ya mon!” music played through out the day at the bars and pool was mostly rap and pop we hear here already. I heard “Hero” by Enrique Iglesias like 6 times (including a scot singing it Karoake) and various interpretations of “It wasn’t Me” and “Who Let The Dogs Out”

The singer for the guest band that played on thursday night was 72, had no teeth and asked for a round of applause for the chairs. Oh well, at least they played “One Love”

Drivers see no problem passings each other on two lane roads with blind corners, nor do they see any reason to not honk at each other constantly or drink beer while driving.

Dunn’s River Falls was cool, and you can climb all the way to the top of the falls, but 4 straight days of heat, excess eating, and alcohol consumption made me wary of white water and rocks. We took a swim at the beach at the bottom. There were a lot of blind people taking the tour, which is pretty cool since they hold your hand the whole way up its totally safe for them and probably one of the best tour someone with their disability can take since its a lot of touching and really immersive.

There were signs everywhere saying “Don’t talk to Jetski riders! They are not part of the tour and getting on with them will be at your own risk” and we made lots of jokes about how they’re like motorcycle gangs or pirates or something. Sure enough we get into the water and a Jetski guy yells to us and my brother goes over. We’ll never let him live that down. First Jetski guy he sees, he swims right over! it was pretty funny.

A shopping trip to Ocho Rios was an eye opener. my brother bought a steel drum from a vendor, and only about 200 people offered us a taxi, weed, hair braids, or a wood carving. Coming out of one shop he anxiously informed me “Tell that guy you like rum! He’ll get you SMASHED!” Sure enough, the salesman was waiting with shots of overproof rum, which nearly knocked me on my ass. Sale!
There was also a lot of porcelain monkeys with giant penises and penis magnets and all sorts of tourist trinkets with a penis somewhere on it. I saw pipes carved so you smoked from a big wood cock! This was really weird because I have no idea who this shit is for since Jamaica is one of the most feircely homophobic nations on earth with chants of “Burn the Chi-Chi Man” in a lot of dancehall music. On the way back I regretted not buying the giant penis monkey. I did get a plate that has an Aunt Jemima on a mule that says “Donkey Ride Jamaica” and a lot of jerk seasonings and sauces.

The travel back to the states was much like the travel out only in reverse. Tedious and tiring. US Customs was oddly enough the quickest line we had the whole time. We could’ve smuggled in SO much ganja if we wanted to, they didn’t even look me in the eye when I passed.

Most of the trip was pretty awesome really. Swimming, sun, hanging out with my family, it was really a great vacation. I really only talked about all the stuff above because its funny.

After working 20 consecutive days, arriving home shortly before midnight on saturday and thoroughly exhausted, I honored my hard work and sacrifice by locking my fucking keys in my car.

having the day off on sunday and carpooling on monday, I made no effort to get them back.

last night, however, I spent more time than I would’ve liked in the cold trying to break into my car with a wire hanger. I’d done it back in summer 2001, but I guess I just can’t remember exactly how to do it.

if it was a colder day I could probably get away with asking the cops since they won’t let me freeze to death outside the car.

but since its over 40 and its parked at home…

http://www.google.com/search?q=how+to+break+in+95+mercury+sable

fuckin’ google.

yahoo’s yellow pages are all kinds of suck.

first place listed don’t service my town. huh?

second place listed doesn’t answer the phone even though its advertised as “24 Hour”

so then I try a local number instead of a toll free. I got “integrated security solutions” which turns out to be a security for banks, they don’t do locks… which is odd since they’re listed under “lock smith”

the next number is a towing company. I call him and the guy immediately gives me another number saying that “he can get to you faster than I can”

I call this other number and a woman answers. I explain my situation and she says “what do you want me to do about it?” and then I realize I have the wrong number. But its the exact number the other guy gave me so I decide to just let that screwball go and try the next place.

at this point my fiance charges in with a phone book and announces she’ll find a place. first place want $70 because it’ll be after hours work. I say I’ll think about it.

the next place advertises being the cheapest in the phone book, and only wants $40, but he isn’t even sure he knows where my town is, and he’s located a good 20 miles away. I give him a break and take his advice and call someone else.

mike’s towing is a big business in Madison, and they said they’d do it for $55, but it would be 2 hours. having spent 3 days locked out, I figured 2 hours is no big deal. When I saw the truck pull up i put my coat on to meet the guy but he opened the car before I even got there. I was so excited!

He took my credit card number and gave me a receipt. He did an imprint of my card so he has my exact name but the name he wrote on the paper (I guess from over the phone) was Zac Zimpley.

My visions are getting worse. this morning i heard a song by the cure and i could picture the koala band in my mind.

Sometimes I worry I might be going completely crazy. Like sometimes I close my eyes when I hear country music and I picture a band of koala bears playing the song. one on banjo, one on lap steel, one on drums… even a little guy playin’ tamborine on his momma’s back as she plays fiddle.

Bull shit!

Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers and Ducktales dvd sets are on the way but both OMIT the 5-part ‘movie’ that kicks off each of these series.

I can only estimate Disney wants a seperate release. assholes.

BABY PANDA!!!!!!

Sub-Zero Wins! Double Flawless Victory! FATALITY!

in the interest of fairness, here’s some bad guys

for no reason at all here’s some of my Prime collection

I told the world i was stabbed in the butt, but it was really a toilet papercut.

Cats in Sinks – for all your cat and bathroom needs

JavaScript RSS Box Viewer 1.0RC

this is an awesome little reader than you can just slap into a web page. super simple. i put digg’s feed on powet games, might follow suit with slash dot as well..

Its the middle of the night and all we want is a store to buy an extra bag to take on the plane. it has never been so hard to find a walmart.