Author Archives: Zac Shipley

I had to get up out of my seat as soon as the movie was over to keep from shitting on it in front of the friends i was with.

they took 20 minues to set up the story and then spent the rest of the movie shooting fake blood, decapitated heads and guitar solos into my brain. I’m not sure I hated it or liked it, but it certainly didn’t stimulate me in any fashion.

A couple weeks ago my car’s ignition broke. A mechanic disassembled the steering column so now I can start and stop the car without a key, just by flicking a switch.

steak, corn, potatoes.

manly food. I am a man.

now playing: Superchunk

Today I applied at Clear Channel and at the FOX and ABC affiliates.

I’m going to try to get the rest of the networks and media companies this week.

Now Playing:

I can’t say that the reason I’ve been unhappy and unproductive lately is a lack of an outlet, but it wouldn’t hurt to start writing again.

Year By Year

1979 – Born in PG County Hospital outside of DC.
1980 – Milk allergy discovered, much vomit.
1981 – My oldest memory is from this year: the neighbor’s dog is a dalmation.
1982 – I slide down a banister mocking a cartoon character, brother Alexander is born, moved to Virginia.
1983 – “Thriller” is released. I now enjoy music.
1984 – I’m sure something noteworthy occurred, but I’m at a loss.
1985 – I discover Transformers, start school, begin lifetime of raised eyebrows over milk allergy.
1986 – Maybe I’ll be a paleoentologist. or play Atari 7800.
1987 – Group photo of my soccer team is all smiles, except myself. I appear to be yelling at someone off to the left.
1988 – The Great Divide. Relocated to Delaware. Robert Korwek begins term as permanent best friend.
1989 – another hazy year without major transistions.
1990 – I have acces to Cable television for the first time.
1991 – Declaration: I am 2 Legit 2 Quit
1992 – In a single year I discover Guns N Roses, Queen, and Metallica. I become determined to learn an instrument.
1993 – Middle School. Robbie, Doug, Ray, and myself form the a crew that would expand and stick together for years.
1994 – I stepped on a bee. then a week later stepped on another bee with the other foot. Shoes to be worn at all times.
1995 – I’m old enough to drive. I refuse.
1996 – Learn to play bass and guitar.
1997 – I might be cool. I honestly don’t know.
1998 – Writing becomes my greatest creative outlet. I give up most school work to focus on writing.
1999 – Ohhh! the INTERNET! I own my first iMac
2000 – College blows.
2001 – Broadcasting School Blows. I’m ready to admit now I was a terrible air personality and thats why I don’t work in radio today.
2002 – I think things are going good. I’m living at home, but I’m comfortable. Robbie and I go out for some drinks.
2003 – Relocated to Madison. The summer of good times gives way to winter, which is also good but cold.
2004 – I start and quit 5 jobs and meet Brigid. Lay the groundwork for internet short subject videos.
2005 – Brigid overlooks my insecurity and agrees to marry me.
2006 – Lots of videos. I pen my memoirs, get bored.

Year By Year

1979 – Born in PG County Hospital outside of DC.
1980 – Milk allergy discovered, much vomit.
1981 – My oldest memory is from this year: the neighbor’s dog is a dalmation.
1982 – I slide down a banister mocking a cartoon character, brother Alexander is born, moved to Virginia.
1983 – “Thriller” is released. I now enjoy music.
1984 – I’m sure something noteworthy occurred, but I’m at a loss.
1985 – I discover Transformers, start school, begin lifetime of raised eyebrows over milk allergy.
1986 – Maybe I’ll be a paleoentologist. or play Atari 7800.
1987 – Group photo of my soccer team is all smiles, except myself. I appear to be yelling at someone off to the left.
1988 – The Great Divide. Relocated to Delaware. Robert Korwek begins term as permanent best friend.
1989 – another hazy year without major transistions.
1990 – I have acces to Cable television for the first time.
1991 – Declaration: I am 2 Legit 2 Quit
1992 – In a single year I discover Guns N Roses, Queen, and Metallica. I become determined to learn an instrument.
1993 – Middle School. Robbie, Doug, Ray, and myself form the a crew that would expand and stick together for years.
1994 – I stepped on a bee. then a week later stepped on another bee with the other foot. Shoes to be worn at all times.
1995 – I’m old enough to drive. I refuse.
1996 – Learn to play bass and guitar.
1997 – I might be cool. I honestly don’t know.
1998 – Writing becomes my greatest creative outlet. I give up most school work to focus on writing.
1999 – Ohhh! the INTERNET! I own my first iMac
2000 – College blows.
2001 – Broadcasting School Blows. I’m ready to admit now I was a terrible air personality and thats why I don’t work in radio today.
2002 – I think things are going good. I’m living at home, but I’m comfortable. Robbie and I go out for some drinks.
2003 – Relocated to Madison. The summer of good times gives way to winter, which is also good but cold.
2004 – I start and quit 5 jobs and meet Brigid. Lay the groundwork for internet short subject videos.
2005 – Brigid overlooks my insecurity and agrees to marry me.
2006 – Lots of videos. I pen my memoirs, get bored.

Breakfast of champions: diet cherry coke and frosted chocolate cookies.

I think I’m ready for a new job now. you think I should get a new job?

I really feel like while things are about to turn around here. Either MTV picks up the show or we get some venture capital or I just get a job that pays more than for gas to get to said job….

This shows Galvatron taking the mantle of leadership by impressing the other Decepticons with not only his power but also his skillz…

SO yeah, I’ll be at BOTCON if anyone needs me.

This shows Galvatron taking the mantle of leadership by impressing the other Decepticons with not only his power but also his skillz…

SO yeah, I’ll be at BOTCON if anyone needs me.

Breakroom at work.

I spot someone with THIS BAG.
I get excited, and say “hey cool! Toothpaste For Dinner!”

because I like TFD a lot.

she not only doesn’t even LOOK at me, she just turns and walks away. I was standing right next to her at the soda machine. I know she heard me. I know she saw me. And I’m friendly, god dammit. what the hell?

NEW RULE:

If you wear a shirt with a bands name on it, and someone says they’re cool, you have to acknowledge it. If someone likes your zelda shirt, you HAVE to at least smile. and if you have a ToothPaste For Dinner bag, don’t act like you’re too cool for school and ignore people who try to talk about it. Obviously you’re not the only one with a TFD bag, because they do make and sell them. GET OVER YOURSELF. You’re not cool enough to like this comic.

Brad called me up this afternoon. we talk all the time on internets, but calls are reserved for big news.

I rang him back as soon as I got his voice mail.

Apparently he was rollin’ around Boston and spoke to someone at a Vintage toy shop about various toy things. He mentioned the URL of our site.

“Oh, do you know Zac Shipley?”

I’m floored.

my first video in 3 months. I gotta make up for lost time…
Powet Toys Titanium

Brad called me up this afternoon. we talk all the time on internets, but calls are reserved for big news.

I rang him back as soon as I got his voice mail.

Apparently he was rollin’ around Boston and spoke to someone at a Vintage toy shop about various toy things. He mentioned the URL of our site.

“Oh, do you know Zac Shipley?”

I’m floored.

my first video in 3 months. I gotta make up for lost time…
Powet Toys Titanium

1 The Dismemberment Plan
2 Radiohead
3 Foo Fighters
4 Pearl Jam
5 Stone Temple Pilots
6 Fun Lovin’ Criminals
7 Lake Trout
8 Sleater-Kinney
9 The Clash
10 The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion

This is according to my last.fm page that keeps track of everything I play.

I’ve only had it installed a few months, but its a pretty damn accurate list. I might’ve place The Clash higher, and I’m surprised to see I listen to that much STP, but this is based on raw facts, not my current whim.

missing from the list: Soul Coughing. Guess I haven’t been listening lately.

Nazi march on madison this saturday

So they’re closing the farmers market early this week so the goddamn nazi party can march here. While I’m sure the protestors will outnumber the aryans 10-1, it may be good for a laugh.

So who’s in for a little pointing and laughing at the Nazis and then maybe dinner at the Essen Haus?

http://www.youtube.com/v/R-y4MJE3ZBA

isthmus may want me for an interview.  I’ll hopefully hear tomorrow.

I haven’t worked print in years, but I never stopped writing.  it would be nice to wear a tie to work again.  and be paid to be creative instead of just repeating someone else’s words.

FEEL BETTER, listen to this
“Cyberspace Lip Gloss” – Karmella’s Game

I get weak in the knees for girl bands in the first place, but indie/emo/synth/pop makes me swoon.

http://www.myspace.com/karmellasgame
Like the Dismemberment Plan and New Pornographers, I fail to see how anyone could not, like totally, love this band.  they’re darling.

RE: joshaw

1. Name: Shipley  
2. Age/Birthday:  26/12-13-79
3. Single or Taken: Tooked
4. Favorite Movie: Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
5. Favorite Song: “The City” – Dismemberment Plan
6. Favorite Band/Rapper/Artist:  Dismemberment Plan/Jay-Z/Elvis Costello
7. Favorite Book/Comic Book: Confederacy Of Dunces/Superman: Birthright
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings: N/A
9. Favorite TV Show: My Name Is Earl
10. Favorite Video Game/Board Game:  Halo 2/Monopoly
11. Do we know each other outside of Livejournal?  Not officially, no.
12. Would you give me a kidney?  Only if I get a liver.
13. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:  drink diet soda, still fat.
14. If you could change anything about your current life, would you?  Sure.
15. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?  if you want to re-post, just erase the goddamn answers like a man.

An evil was waiting to be unleashed under the hood of my car.  The starter had been plotting against me for too long, forcing me to turn the key further and for longer with each ignition.
Finally on Wednesday the evil commited itself to stopping my travels once and for all.  I called in a sage and a wizard, but their spells did nothing to vanquish the evil. 
Thankfully a higher power was able to banish this spirit back to the nether-realm from whence it came.  It would not come at a small price.  4,800,600 Vietnam Dongs.

anyway, to counter this bad luck with my car, I was able to see “Talladega Nights” finally and it was, honestly, a much better movie than Anchorman.  Only time will tell if It holds up to be as continuously funny, but I definitely laughed harder and longer.   I shouldn’t have to make a hard sell or repeat jokes here.  It was brilliantly stupid fun that simultaneously paid tribute too and slammed NASCAR.  Sacha Baron Cohen didn’t drag the movie down as reviews implied, instead he was the perfect prism for which to push sub-bible belt american into acceptance of gays and the french.

http://powet.tv/2006/08/12/metal-by-numbers/
watch out for the sweaty shirtless guys.  they stink and they’ll punch you.

Hi Monica!

There can be no greater disappointment than excelling at something you’d rather not do.

Today doing cold calling for my part time telemarketing job, I cleared over quadruple the minimum goal that many never acheive in the first place.  Speaking with other employees on breaks, I found that only in my 3rd week I’ve gained a reputation as a shark and one of the best on the job.

the silver lining:  I now have the confidence to talk my cold call skill and talent toward a more traditional position in line with broadcasting.  In my schooling I learned a simple foot in the door toward a job in on-air or production was in the sales department.  I have resisted this for five long years.  I break this resistance tomorrow.  going over budget and into the red, I bought a new shirt and pair of pants and I’m digging out my tie collection.  Its time for the interview game to begin again.

proud moments this week:
<a href=”http://www.digg.com/gaming_news/GameCube_A_Video_History_That_Never_Was”>digg: GameCube: A Video History That Never Was</a>
not coughing or crying after a shot of Sake
<a href=”http://www.forbiddenplanet.co.uk/images/D/D2441.jpg”>Titanium Prime</a> for $5
making a friend into a close friend
<a href=”http://powet.tv/2006/08/04/review-strangers-with-candy/”>Strangers With Candy</a>

six oh eight two one seven four six seven eight

I need some action this weekend.  make a movie, make some friends, do something.

or maybe help someone move.  what evah.

People Talkin’

It has come to my attention that apparently I have a big mouth. And its true.

I didn’t realize it until very recently but I get very intimidated in social situations and as a defense mechanism I lash out and try to take control by dominating conversation.

I don’t yet know how to control this. When I’m aware, I try to slow down a bit. But you’re all welcome to tell me to just SHUT UP if I get out of control. Thanks.

Jimmy Eat World – “The World You Love”

I picked up a part time job, so now I’m not getting home until almost 10 PM, and I leave the house in the morning at 7 AM.

I should be tired, but I’m really, really not. I’m wired awake. Look, I’m even posting a blog.

if you can read this, try registerring at Powet Forum. Discussion has been slowing down. we need new blood.

To those pissed off about that last entry:

Didn’t I explain earlier that nothing here ever means anything?

“The Grudge”
Saw the japanese one 2 years ago. Could barely follow the story, wasn’t scary.
On a reccomendation we rented the US remake, which still took place in Japan and looks like used the same sets. It was better mostly because I successfully followed the story and could tell characters apart from each other, which may sound racist, but I didn’t understand ‘Jo-Un’ mostly because I thought every single female in the entire movie was the same character.

“Super Mario Brothers”
Its still terrible. But, I think theres more than 90 seconds of cool footage I can take to make a fake trailer.”

“Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back” / “Mallrats”
With Clerks 2 around the corner, some of us are getting excited to see some characters we haven’t seen in about 5 years. With that said, these two flick have not aged well. “Mallrats” is especially sophmoric and poorly put together, but I’ll give credit for making a star out of Jason Lee. “Strike Back” is a fans-ony affair if I’ve ever seen one, though being knee deep in the Kevin Smith lore upon its release, I didn’t really see it that way. Oh well. if Clerks 2 gets laughs the first time around thats OK by me.

Did this a while ago, but I figure if I’m going to relaunch the ol’ blog I should post something.

ITEM: I’m not part of the circle. I know, at best, only 4 of you. I’m probably not going to meet all these other people. I don’t care either way.

It makes me intensely uncomfortable when I can spend an entire evening and only understand a fraction of the conversation.

I’m getting out of here. I’m not a live journal guy. I don’t think I should keep up with this. I’m consistently bewildered with names appearing as links instead of identities, comparisons to people I’ve never met, and recaps of events I’m never invited to.

I’m going back to work. You’re not going to see me for a while. I appreciate the effort put forth, I really do. But the first fun thing that happened all night was shot down within 30 seconds. Thats depressing. I can stay home and watch movies.

Beginning 24 hour countdown now.

“The Grudge”
Saw the japanese one 2 years ago. Could barely follow the story, wasn’t scary.
On a reccomendation we rented the US remake, which still took place in Japan and looks like used the same sets. It was better mostly because I successfully followed the story and could tell characters apart from each other, which may sound racist, but I didn’t understand “Jo-Un” mostly because I thought every single female in the entire movie was the same character.

“Super Mario Brothers”
Its still terrible. But, I think theres more than 90 seconds of cool footage I can take to make a fake trailer.

http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/index.php
hot shit, this comic is FUNNY.

CHICKEN BUTT.

I got you, you fucker.

just when things can’t get any shittier…

fucking MAD GEAR KIDNAPPED MY DAUGHTER.

Now I gotta call Cody and see if we can get her back. I hope we don’t have to beat up the same 4 guys 70 times in a row.

My cat is not a meerkat. She is a mere cat.

her breath is toxic. ugh.

Nothing will ever go here.

everything will always go here: http://www.powet.tv/

I hadn’t been in a comic shop in a while, I recently went back to grab the IDW Transformers. Getting back in the habit, I also got the first couple issues of All Star Superman.

I kinda want to read DC comics again. I was neve that big on Marvel, but I could always find a couple DC books I liked.

Then I noticed EVERY SINGLE BOOK had some kind of Infinite Crisis tie in. And with so much volume I decided I’m pretty much out of the DC universe until the dust settles and I can read the important bits in a TPB, which leaves me pretty much not reading any regular DC book until spring 2007.

I know this seemed like a big good idea and had I been on from the beginning or had a bigger comic budget, I might’ve been on for the ride. But being a casual reader and not wanting to buy 8 books a week for the next year just to sort out what the fuck is going on is really off putting.

In the end will this REALLY change Batman or Superman or any of their big heroes? I mean, it can’t. Not if DC hs any sense. Theres a new Superman movie coming, and theres always Batman stuff everywhere… shouldn’t they have more mainstream stuff to get new readers and casual readers hooked in? Shouldn’t they at least make it easier for casual readers to jump into Crisis or any other major arc? Or did they just fucking give up and put out the All Star books so they could have an out of continuity comic for casual readers while the Infinite Wank-a-thon rolls into actual infinity…
[link]

I’ll start this off by saying ultimately I had a good time and it was nice to be in such warm weather during the cold winter. And I wouldn’t say everything in this video is a lie, but they certainly stretch the truth.

I woke up around 5:30 AM in on the floor of my stepsister’s chicago apartment to make a 8 AM flight to Montego Bay. My phone rang, and it was my brother telling me he wasn’t getting on the plane in Baltimore because he couldn’t find his passport. I was disappointed to say the least.

Getting on the plane wasn’t difficult, but the 4 hour flight with only a can of Canada Dry and a cookie to eat was. We skipped breakfast, and now we didn’t have a lunch either!

Arriving in Montego Bay holding my winter coat was surreal in itself, but the parade of tourists created quite a crowd at customs and immigration. After trying to declare prescription medication and then sent back to the end of the line when I was told I didn’t need to, we were reaching our breaking point.

Finally we got out of the airport, and got on a bus. And waiting 55 minutes for the bus to leave. Then 90 minutes for the drive to the hotel! I’m starving. We made a pit stop where I paid $2 US for a bottle of coke, and was warned by my stepsister’s boyfriend not to eat at any of the jerk chicken shacks on the side of the road. The bathrooms were in hospitable and my fiance was asked to “party” twice before we got back on the road again. Even a quick look out the window during this trip revealed Jamaica to be a pretty poor nation. Lots of shacks, farm animals running free… it kinda held this air of guilt over the whole week as we knew we were living much much better than these people who live for weeks on less than I make in a day.

When we finally got to the hotel I was happy to see the rest of the family waiting for us. It was a releif to know my brother’s girlfriend still got on the plane and was there, and my brother would be catching a flight the next day.

My father had booked 5 rooms for our group of 9, and the resort only had 3 open, so we had to kinda cram together the first night, but it was fine after that. after all, we’re here! Its warm! Its sunny! No work for a week!

Dinner wasn’t being served until 7, and even though we were very hungry, we went to the open bar to drink.

From here my account of this trip will be less detailed because we pretty much started drinking fruity drinks with rum around 5 PM on sunday night and didn’t sober up until saturday morning. The open bar was a rousing success.

There was a nice pool, but there was no beach. they had some sand with some water in front of it, but it was all rocks and coral and only 3 feet deep unless you went really far out.

Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner were all regularly served and I don’t think I’ve ever eaten that much pinapple in my life. Food was pretty tasty.

About Tuesday it started to sink in that there wasn’t much at all to do there.
Club Ambiance had daily activities and nightly concerts by a house band. Activities were mostly lame, and we used the schedule mostly as a guide of when not to be at the pool for water aerobics. They had a “fashion show” which consisted of staff wearing stuff from the gift shop. I didn’t need to come all this way to see that “Bob Marley shirt, army shorts, and no shoes” is in style. I see people wearing that stuff here! By the end of the week we figured they’d be running office chair races and “car rides”

Animals abound! Feral cats roamed the premises, and it wasn’t uncommon to see 4 or 5 cats running around the roof. Also saw a lot of little lizards running around and quite a few birds. On the roads, goats and chickens were pretty much everywhere. I found a tiny hermit crab on the sidewalk that I returned to the “beach.” A flyer for a nearby plantation also advertised “Get Your Picture Taken With The Ostrich” which was also beyond funny.

The house band didn’t play reggae or calypso or even try. It was mostly lite rock shit. Stevie Wonder, Righteous Brothers, Bryan Adams… They even covered UB40’s “Red Wine” which in itself is just a UK band doing a reggae version of a Neil Diamond song. The closed the set on the last night we were there with a cover of “Hey Jude” which we later replaced the lyrics with “Na, Na Na, No Problem! Ya mon!” music played through out the day at the bars and pool was mostly rap and pop we hear here already. I heard “Hero” by Enrique Iglesias like 6 times (including a scot singing it Karoake) and various interpretations of “It wasn’t Me” and “Who Let The Dogs Out”

The singer for the guest band that played on thursday night was 72, had no teeth and asked for a round of applause for the chairs. Oh well, at least they played “One Love”

Drivers see no problem passings each other on two lane roads with blind corners, nor do they see any reason to not honk at each other constantly or drink beer while driving.

Dunn’s River Falls was cool, and you can climb all the way to the top of the falls, but 4 straight days of heat, excess eating, and alcohol consumption made me wary of white water and rocks. We took a swim at the beach at the bottom. There were a lot of blind people taking the tour, which is pretty cool since they hold your hand the whole way up its totally safe for them and probably one of the best tour someone with their disability can take since its a lot of touching and really immersive.

There were signs everywhere saying “Don’t talk to Jetski riders! They are not part of the tour and getting on with them will be at your own risk” and we made lots of jokes about how they’re like motorcycle gangs or pirates or something. Sure enough we get into the water and a Jetski guy yells to us and my brother goes over. We’ll never let him live that down. First Jetski guy he sees, he swims right over! it was pretty funny.

A shopping trip to Ocho Rios was an eye opener. my brother bought a steel drum from a vendor, and only about 200 people offered us a taxi, weed, hair braids, or a wood carving. Coming out of one shop he anxiously informed me “Tell that guy you like rum! He’ll get you SMASHED!” Sure enough, the salesman was waiting with shots of overproof rum, which nearly knocked me on my ass. Sale!
There was also a lot of porcelain monkeys with giant penises and penis magnets and all sorts of tourist trinkets with a penis somewhere on it. I saw pipes carved so you smoked from a big wood cock! This was really weird because I have no idea who this shit is for since Jamaica is one of the most feircely homophobic nations on earth with chants of “Burn the Chi-Chi Man” in a lot of dancehall music. On the way back I regretted not buying the giant penis monkey. I did get a plate that has an Aunt Jemima on a mule that says “Donkey Ride Jamaica” and a lot of jerk seasonings and sauces.

The travel back to the states was much like the travel out only in reverse. Tedious and tiring. US Customs was oddly enough the quickest line we had the whole time. We could’ve smuggled in SO much ganja if we wanted to, they didn’t even look me in the eye when I passed.

Most of the trip was pretty awesome really. Swimming, sun, hanging out with my family, it was really a great vacation. I really only talked about all the stuff above because its funny.